Thursday, September 9, 2010

Writing For The Truth

I pulled out this one spiral notebook that I use every now and then to write on, from the stack of other books and magazines.  I plan on giving some basic computer training to some of our friends, the Angelican parents that we have gotten to know well in the past year.  So I wanted to write down some lists on what computer topics to touch on.  Then I came upon some of my writing from last year.  There were some that was undated, some of the written notes I believe found their way on this blog.  But I think this one didn't and after re-reading it, it gave me renewed inspiration...

Written March 29, 2009:

Well, I'm back to pen and paper... after getting the computer sequestered by a little tyke (ie Joselyn).  Never take a bathroom break when there's little (and big) game addicts lurking around.

This is best though.  I'd like to start by quoting from a reflection I read the other day..."I have become more in God's hands.  I am his pen."  (written by Tess Atienza from Didache March 27, 2009).  I read this and thought to myself, yes, this is what I want to become - "God's pen".  It was later reconfirmed upon reading "Teresa of Avila - The Interior Castle", who wrote many inspiring works, wrote when trying to put her thoughts on paper: "... May He, in whose mercy I trust and who has helped me in other more difficult things so as to favor me, do this work for me." (p. 18).

So many times when I write I do not know where the source of inspiration comes from nor what the purpose of my writing.  I see now, a little clearer than before, the goal to which my words must achieve.  Merely more than for entertainment, more than self-expression, more than stories or complaints or gossip, my writing should have as its ultimate goal - truth and the search thereof.  And this truth cannot be from me, but from our God who uses me to convey His message to others.  My grammar may not be right, my sentence structure awkward - but if the message conveyed will teach another heart, then praise God for using me as His instrument.
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I picked up 3 books to read from the bookshelf.  After reading "I Gotta Crow..." I wanted to read some fiction.  One book "Angela's Ashes" looked promising with many rave reviews, plus winning a Pulitzer Prize.  Well, it ought to be good!  The other two books were books I've had on my shelf for awhile and never really got to read.  Since it's Lenten season, I'm striving to read Spiritual books to help me on my Lenten journey.  One book was "Praying With Icons" by Henri Nouwen (I've read 2 of his other books and love the way Fr Henri writes and the message he has to say - simple, easy to read, almost like a conversation with a friend).  The other which I mentioned earlier, "Teresa of Avila - The Interior Castle" - the story of this great Saint and founder of the Carmellite Monasteries.  This last book is a harder read, with many text on one page that it seems to go slowly.  But I realize I don't have to speed through these books.  On the contrary, it's best to read them slowly, trying to understand the messages and reflecting on them.

So I have the 3 books, picking up one and reading, picking up the other, reading a page or two, and on other occasions picking up the next and reading more.  The fiction (Angela's Ashes), though entertaining - retelling in a humorous way the author's beginnings, it hits me as not being spiritual and even being sarcastic inthe author's aversion of the Catholic church.

I have a choice I realize, as we all do.  To continue reading this wildly acclaimed book (the language and message might get better) or to put it down and as is said "to not tread further".  I think I am open-minded and would listen to other people's tales no matter how I may disagree.  But upon opening up the other two books and when praying the rosary last night, a message of seeking the Truth came into my consciencee, and I chose to put the book down and put it back on the shelf.

If seeking the Truth, for what is true in all things and in all people, I need to spend my time, my space, my senses, my energies to the search for Truth and God, and not waste my time and energy on what is not (or what I think or feel is not).  This issue on Truth is a sticky business.  But I pray that God, who is Truth, its soure, its definition, will guide me.

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